I was compelled to get whatever I could out of him, which in the end was absolutely nothing. And I never saw that peek out of him again. My partner, Dennis, and I would visit him and his wife of many years. I maintained a relationship with him until he died. Some people would have cut him out of their lives. Then I understood it with perfect clarity. So at any given moment, how many people do you think would be passing by a window?" It really took a moment for me to understand what he was saying. My father lowered his voice and said, "There are 104 windows that overlook that bridge. My diabolical plan was to say, "Old women fall from bridges all the time." I knew my father would say, "Son, that is just ridiculous drunk talk." But that isn't what happened. My father was resentful over having to pay my mother alimony. I was tired of thinking my father was a serial killer, and "I need to be cleansed of this." I did some reverse psychology. You were worried he may have actually killed someone and were looking for unsolved murder cases in your hometown. Still, it wasn't until you were 30 that you felt vindicated. This just happened." My mother believed me. The policeman got on the line and scolded me. He called back and, in a perfectly sober voice, asked why I had called the police. I called the police and they went over to my father's house. He said, "Son, I have stolen a Mustang and I'm coming after you. My father called and he was very, very drunk. Then there was a phone call when you were alone. And my mother had seen the car tearing off. I jumped out of the car, screaming and screaming. I was screaming and terrified, and I realized he was heading straight for a telephone pole and he was going to kill me. And he said, "I'm going to kill the thing that means the most to that bitch." And pulled the car out of the driveway and started going really, really fast down the road.
He gripped the steering wheel and his face just became utterly peculiar and he started clacking his teeth. Everything about my father suddenly changed. I slid over because my mom might be joining us. I used to love hurling the trash bags off a cliff. The crystallizing moment for you and your mother started with an everyday errand. And that word, "dangerous" - my father was "dangerous" - was always uttered. It was terrible to see my mother's fear of him and the story of his proposal and to know how threatened she felt. And there was your mother's recollection of his marriage proposal in which he threatened to kill himself if she didn't marry him. There were pets that were killed or neglected until they died.
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